Chapter II, pt. ii

“I quit my job.”
First off, Adam didn’t expect a comment like that to fly under the radar or to blow over. Not with Leah. He had some explaining to do and he was ready to plead his case. He was certain he could convince her that it was the right thing to do.
“Okay,” Leah began slowly, “now what are you going to do?”
“I’m free to do whatever I want to do,” was Adam’s simple answer. “That is, I’m free to go wherever the road takes me.”
“You’re going to travel?”
“I don’t know. That’s not exactly what I meant. But if life leads me down the path of travel, then I’ll take that road. If the capricious hands of fate bar my way, then I won’t move a muscle.”
“But how are you going to live? How are you going to make money?”
“I’m not above sleeping on park benches and it’s not beneath me to lie in the penthouses of the charitable. There is wisdom everywhere.”
She raised her eyebrows, jutted out her jaw, shook her head and sighed a deep sigh.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” he said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, I don’t expect anyone to understand. I haven’t counted on you to agree with me on this. But you are invited anyhow.”
She said nothing.
They’d been together a few years and knew all each other’s dirty tricks. This one took her by surprise. They’d been through the wars and the salad days together. All the great speeches and revolutions of the world were played out in a great cosmic melodrama in which they were scriptwriters, actors and audience. They didn’t always have a lot to say but occasionally silence still said a lot.
“I’ve got to find my own way in life,” he said, “my own path.”
“But how are you going to live,” she said, “without money?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I could get a job tomorrow but only if I’m supposed to. Now, whatever it is I need to do, I’ll do it. This isn’t about not working.”
She said nothing.
“It’s about respect, how’s that? I wouldn’t respect myself if I didn’t follow life according to my own plan, and that’s to listen to the wind. You know, I’m picking up a handful of sand right now and - and - and no matter how hard I try, see, I know I’m going to lose a few grains along the way, right? But it’s okay. I’m not hoarding grains of sand, I’m going to throw them into the air and see which way they drift.” His jolly little laugh didn’t endear his argument to her.
“And then what?”
“I don’t know. Follow the wind?”
“Ugh, this is bullshit. You’re talking like an idiot.”
He said nothing.
“I’ll call my brother, he’ll have you working down at the dock by tomorrow.”
“Don’t.”
“How are you going to pay your rent, how are you going to eat?”
“I’ll find a way.”
“Okay,” she said clasping her hands over her knees, “we’ll see. Don’t expect me to support you.”
They just went to bed and rolled away from each other and dreamed.