21

The black thing? Adam could say, ‘you’re not black, you know.’ But then, Adam would look stupid and ignorant, you can‘t act a color, right. You can try to imitate phrases you hear on rap songs, but... Justin could be any way he wanted to be, even if it’s a caricature. Who knows, maybe it was all a brilliant ruse, maybe he was an undercover government agent.

Adam made a mental note to himself, maybe Justin is an undercover government agent.

He finally settled on, “you’re not a rebel. You think you are, but you’re not.”

Justin opened his mouth to say something, but in the end couldn’t much think of what to say. Instead, he just laughed.

“Mouthing off to authority figures,” Adam said, “does not make you a rebel.”

“What,” Justin said, “you think you’re an authority figure?” and laughed again.

“No,” Adam said, “but you do.”

Everybody in the room, with the exception of Marsh, shifted uncomfortably, fidgeted or looked away.

“You carry around that toy gun,” Adam continued, “yet you show up to work everyday on time. You speed and drink and drive, but you do your taxes every year before the deadline. You claim to be your own man, but you follow me around like a lost puppy.”

“Yeah,” Justin said, nodding exaggeratedly, “you a big man with a big smart mouth, now, huh?”

“You follow me,” Adam said, ignoring him, “because you know spiritual enlightenment is the key to salvation from this world. But, if I told you to go off into the woods and live off the land for a year, to get it, you wouldn’t be able to do it. Not for a lack of survival skills, but because you’re afraid. You’re afraid of your own shadow so you put on a tough act.”

Justin laughed at this, more heartily than ever. Laughing and glaring with murderous eyes.

“You’re afraid of the big, dark woods, so you try to make yourself into the meanest, toughest thing in the forest, and everyone can see through it.”

Adam paused, no one made a sound or moved a muscle.

“It’s image. It’s an illusion.”

“Than tell me,” Justin said, chin thrust out, “tell me, oh great Mothafuckin’ Messiah? How do I become a real rebel like you?”

“No,” Adam said, “I don’t want rebels. Rebels will tear society apart.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“No, that’s not the point at all.”

There was a knock at the front door.

Adam turned toward the door, then turned back to Justin and said, “you better ask yourself why you want people to think you’re a rebel.”

“You’re so cosmic,” Justin said, “you tell me.”

“No,” Adam said again, “you have to answer to yourself.”

Adam turned his attention to everyone in the room and said, “I can only give you questions, not answers. Questions are better than answers.”

Then he turned to answer the door.