Chapter IV, pt. IV

Why doesn’t she know me? The thought played over and over in his head like a chorus.

“Something’s bugging you,” she said, “you’ve been staring into your cup of tea for five minutes.”

“Nothing,” he said, “nothing’s bugging me.”

She scoffed and said, “I know when something’s wrong. Your mother should know.”

He took a sip of his tea, it was cold now.

“You still need time to get over the accident, that’s all.”

He laughed and shook his head, “that’s not what’s bugging me.”

“Is it that weird guy, sitting on the couch?,” she said, making sure to keep her voice low.

“Who, him?,” he glanced over his shoulder, in the direction of the living room behind him, “he’s alright.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, he’s fine.”

She got up and poured the last sip of her coffee down the drain, running the water, making sure the stainless steel sink didn’t stain.

“You know, Ma,” he began, “I look around here, and you got a lotta junk.”

She shut the water off and turned to face him, her hand on her hip accusatorily, “excuse me?”

“No, I’m just saying, Ma, it’s just you here, right?”

“For your information, I have a lot of nice things, I don’t have junk.”

“That’s not what I’m saying--”

“Yes it is! You just said it.”

“No. No. It’s just…” he thought carefully about the right words, “you got a lotta stuff you don’t need.”

“That’s what you think,” she said, aloofly.

Adam looked around and catalogued the items he found one doesn’t need. Little trinkets and hummels; salt and pepper shakers shaped like African fertility sculptures; fridge magnets and matching clock shaped like an owl; the vibrating leather couches in the living room with the padded arm rests that folded out to reveal cup holders. Instead of just, a couch.

“I happen to like nice things,” she said, “my house reflects my personality.”

“You can’t order personality over the phone,” he said.

“I’m not on the phone that much. I talk to my sister in Pasadena and that’s about it.”

Adam grunted in frustration, he remembered that she never understood him, “I’m saying, you can’t buy personality.”

“Well, this is my house, if you don’t like it, well … you know where the door is, honey.”

“I just don’t think a person needs all this useless stuff to get by.”

“I’m through with just trying to get by, and who are you to tell me what I can and can’t have. This is the way I want my house. Why can’t I have what I want? What’s your point anyway?"

“My point ..?” he thought about it for a long moment, a far away look fell across his features, and a slow smile spilled over.

He called Justin into the kitchen and said, “I guess my point is, we’ve all got to learn something in this life. I was put here to learn something, and you were put here to learn something, and you were. The thing we’ve got to learn is different for everybody. That’s the point here. It's destiny. We’ve got to learn something so that we don’t have to keep coming back in an endless cycle of life and death. You see, all this stuff you keep around, the trinkets and decoration, it’s an illusion. That can’t be what you’ve come here to learn: to love the illusion. All this stuff you want, it’s gonna tie you here to earth and you’ll never get back to the kingdom of heaven if you don’t let go, because there will always be something else that you want, and you’ll keep coming back and wanting more stuff, then one day, when the sun goes nova, and the earth is destroyed, there’ll be no place to go back to and there will be no salvation and you will taste death and you will be denied eternal life.”

A new vigor possessed him, he had a nugget, he had a point. Soon he would be on TV and the radio and the internet and downtown jumbo trons across the globe, spreading the message. 60 minutes, Larry King, The Late Show, Coast to Coast, The Mike Marsh Show, he would make everybody sick, there’d be no escape from him. The world was waiting for him to make a statement and now he’d found one. He would say it louder than anyone who’d come before him. And he would find other things to say as well, important things! He would go on until every man, woman and child in the remotest cave on earth would hear his word. He was ready to speak!

His mother calmly said, “get out of here. Just go.”

“Well, I can't,” Adam said, “I need to use the phone.”